To EMO teen: there is NO pleasurable pain in biting on a broken tooth

I hate gay stories when everyone is gay. And the sexy flamboyant gay says to the geeky mid-sexuality crisis gay: Oh pretty gay boy. Please come and fuck me. If not I will go fuck my colleagues, all of whom are gay and want to fuck me.

I hate gay stories when no one is gay, and the love-strucked gay couple has to meet in public toilets to have hawt desperate sex, after which one of them will die of AIDS. And the surviving gay will marry his childhood love and think about AIDS gay everything he copulates with the wife.

WHY ARE THERE NO NORMAL GAY STORIES? X.X This is why I prefer to read Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell and imagine them being gay, though that is really very disgusting because Mr Norrell is like 2394 years old.

Tragic love of the century: A loves B. B loves cake. A and B turn out to be cousins, and no amount of cake can change genetic history.

So exams are coming. I feel oddly excited, mainly because I keep thinking of xiaolongbao and other binging plans. Of course, after the exams, I shall have keyboard smashing sentiments and say things like: oh FUCK, I should have studied instead of taking in 249143 calories.