this is a breakthrough. isn't it?

maybe this is fear. or maybe i am just very tired. maybe this is anticipation, marred by fear. i don't like anticipation, because usually it means you get disappointed. i don't want to go anywhere my dear. i could wish for world peace but it doesn't matter, not really. she took your eyes and now you can't see her beauty. he is batman after 8pm. she is not human, she shall eat you in the badly written story. he is the tree monster who will guard you all your life. you can age, take on rum, forget the tea, forget the frogs, but he is there. he feeds on your mere presence. but not in a bad way. at all.

really, isn't that what we all want?

i don't know what to think anymore. i don't have the mechanism to judge anyone.

she slips on bits of paper, the words spill over accidently. who was the one who said it, john fowles? you dare not speak his name, so pronouns take over. in itself this is a tragedy. you don't think his name anymore, the pronoun summons images to your head. and admit it, his person is worse than his name.

i blame this on: the pretty song sung in the broken way, creative work by the general public, personal lack of self discipline. let's not mark this day.

1. Is it not obvious? I am hopelessly in love. It is pathetic, because this is like adolescent-y obsessive love. It doesn't make me happy, it doesn't make me sad. Well, sometimes it makes me a little happy. And sometimes it makes me, erm, very sad. Ahahaha. WHY OH WHY? BECAUSE I LOVE PEOPLE WHO ARE BETTER THAN ME. X_X Only because of that, my love, only because of that. The thing is, if we cross this line (which we won't because it is all wrong and twisted), but if we do, everything will fall apart. Because this is a delusion I am sure and then we will actually have to start socialising. Or whatever it is people do. Debbie Lee says: love is the desire to love someone. She also says: love is when there is this constant thumpthump sound in your heart. So.

2. It seems that in my current depression I am writing a lot. All of which belongs to Yishuang's story on tru luv OMG. It makes me happy.((: Because how fun are bad metaphors and you know, slips, and ripped corners.

3. Morpork is an owl, and Ankh is an ancient symbol. Klatch is a collection of EVERYTHING we discriminate against: turban, curry, desert people, camels, huge sabres, accents, you get the drift. Uberwald represents the Middle East, which we discriminate against on intuition. This is why it is full of dark creatures and the undead who are OMG EVIL. It also contains a lot of fat, which is you know, like oil. Unlike real life, however, you find giant ancient animals (the WOOLLY MAMMOTH OMG) fried to the crisp.

4. I love what you do more than I love you. In fact I love only what you do, but you are a personification of what you do so I love you. AHHH. AND I WILL LIVE IN YOUR SHADOW FOR ETERNITY. BOTH OF US, WE WILL BURN.

MEOW MEOW OH YOU ARE AS INCANDESCENT AS A FIREBALL!!!!

I think it is very irritating when people rant about school work. But I want to rant so excuse me hahaha.

OHMYGOD I LEFT OUT ONE WHOLE COLUMN OF THE RUBRIC. THAT IS, COMPLETELY UNFULFILLED. AHHHHHH.

Yes. I blame it on a variety of environmental factors. I have been cursed I swear!!! It is Wanxi's colour pencil, Aruna's drawing block, Eleanor's marker and the bookshop eraser!!!! THERE HAS BEEN A CURSE PUT ONTO STATIONARY AND ART MATERIALS. WE ARE ALL DOOMED.

Ahahaha. I am a bit amused I think. O.O Tomorrow YISHUANG MY LOVE will be bringing CHINESE PORN to school. She will hide it under her pinafore and we will read it together in the cupboard. Because according to our Character Leadership Development Director, erotica is NOT permitted in school. AHAHAHA. I look forward to chinese porn because I have never seen, erm, parts described in chinese. AHAHA. It will improve my chinese and I will get AAAAAA for my O levels!!!!

Ahahaha. The constant AHAHAHAs and capslock means that I am a bit crazy I think. AHAHAHA. Tomorrow Life Before History PT starts, but for now I will go and watch Ouran on youtube and this is the only Anime I watch because OMG I AM A BIMBO!!!!! AHAHA. I hope that the BUTCH and the blonde Y chromosome person will find true luv!!!!! Just like how Captain Jack Sparrow will find true luv with Elizabeth one day because he is OMG so much HOTTER than Orlando Bloom. AHAHAHA. I think I should quote the Shakespear sonnet when there is this part that is like: Oh my true love! You are as brilliant as the summer, with your black hair like ROPES!!

LALALA. I am psuedo-high because OHMYGOD BIOLOGY YOU KILL ME. LALALA. Look at Meow Meow please! HE IS INCANDESCENT IS HE NOT??? <3333 OH MEOW MEOW WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT YOUR METAPHORICAL LIGHT????????

No more Despair, Mr Gaiman!

1. I am now convinced of the mundane unpleasantness we all possess, which is far worse than evil. Or maybe this is evil instead. Just like how it is not the dictatorial pro-genocide psychopaths we should fear (because, well, they are psychopathic), but the good men who subject to his will. Hitler is not very scary, I think. The people who let him do what he did are scary. So are the people who send their virgins to feed the king.

2. Surprise surprise! I did not screw up (to varying degrees) Math/SS/Physics. This is very stressful.

3. The love of my life! It is very sad. Because I look and think, oh well I will never be as good as you. I might not actually believe that, because these things are very subjective and sometimes I believe I am not that bad. But. Still. I remember everything. Everything. Which is a very bad sign indeed.

4. Have not done speech. Will die next week, being the only one to do speech. And I shall have no one to whine to, because by then everyone will be worrying about HOLY CRAP BIOLOGY. ):

5. Many many many people are not going for FAM, which is annoying. What is possibly more annoying is that many people are actually going in my class, but a lot of my friends are not going. I don't actually care about the hotel or the food. Because, well, some times it pays to be sentimental I suppose. Just like how I will possibly cry at the end of the year and people will look at me with funny expressions.

6. My love for Terry Pratchett has surpassed my love for Neil Gaiman. You know, just like how the world looks right only through the bottom of a liquor bottle for Sam, I think the world looks very right only through Anhk-Morpork. <33 And also because Neil Gaiman I HATE you for killing, say, fifty kittens? And having them eat each other. YOU BASTARD. asd;lkfnasdlkfas;df

7. I miss Monk, I miss House, and I miss the stupid Superman comedy they used to show on thursdays. My Hero. Right. Now I am sustained solely by Project Runway, which is very very cool, and Singapore Idol, which amuses me so with bad singing. Oh and Slitty Eyes Slitty Eyes you are singing out my Jamie Cullem songlist!

8. I deduce that all respectable authors have one tragic flaw. That is, they enjoy writing about cats, and then killing them in creative and tragic ways. Er. Stop doing that. Please? I find it way more interesting when guinea pigs are killed. Just like in Little Britain.

PORNOGRAPHY IS EVIL

Today I wrote Cardcaptor Sakura porn, which was meant to be a rubbishy mockery of Yishuang's obsession with Cardcaptor Sakura fanfiction, but ended up weird, contemplative, not pornographic at all, and somehow centered around eggs. -_- It is probably the wrong time to write anyway, because my previous bout of illness has wiped out my brain and I remain unable to think intelligently for the better part of this week. This is why I shall FAIL English.

This is very sad, nothing I write pleases me. Not even this piece of writing. Well. I would quote depressing quotes from The Hours, talk about how happiness is a butterfly, complete with descriptions of grass stains and the rolling green fields, or talk about my sad obsession with reality television. The time has passed, however.

I will say that the concept of the Harry Potter books is one of evil. And isn't it hypocritical to be talking about evil all the time when you yourself are the manifestation of real evil?