freedom Freedom FREEDOM

So apparently I like prose/poetry/music/theatre/telly (!) that twists your insides and sticks a knife through your gut. This is because on some maybe subconscious maybe not level, I reject fluff and horror and melodrama and stupidity and really, what is better than pain? Pretty words that poke into your heart not always because they are really sad, but because they're true. It is probably harder to emote (HAHA) pain than anything else, in as little words as possible, and make it look like you are not even trying. This is why I love the poem about quivering breasts and Terry Pratchett (!!!!) makes me cry. And the bottom line is: deny not the teenager of her emo-ness.

Well. A tribute then, to every fictional character I have loved. <3

1. Sam Vimes - the good guy, who is usually annoying, but not here. Slightly bigoted (like the rest of the world), wears shoes with paper-thin soles (I can empathize -_-), reads Where's My Cow <3, always comes to some kind of personal epiphany at the end of every book and makes me sniff a little (O.O). And he has brilliant connotations, because Everything Pratchett Is Gold. Like Angua, and Carrot, and Igor (and Igor and Igor), and the troll king (omg diamond omg), and that psuedo vampire woman. And the rest of everything.

2. House - lollipop + General Hospital + secretly gay best friend + gameboy + piano skills = LOVE. Also because he is and always has been terrible to the world. Only now he is miserable and oh what is better than this obviously miserable man who pounces at the world but is still unbearably at its mercy? And of course, he has no ethics, which is exciting, and he is never wrong, which is attractive to the very female side of me, and omg he is HOT, whatever other people say.

3. Adrian Monk - O.O Mock me not. He is adorable, and he loves his (dead) wife. And he would love some friends, thank you very much. He is, you know, the obsessive compulsive socially awkward person who has never quite experienced social relations as a child and now, when he makes unreliable and superficial friends in the office/jury panel, calls them the gang. Also because he is the unlikeliest hero ever, terrified of 90% of things in daily life. Which really gives it an extra dimension when he goes into the sewers to save his un-love. And also why I went WAHHH when the Evil Dentist tried to use the dental drilly thing on him.

4. L - (-_______-) Shut up. Please. Because, alright? BECAUSE. (And omg eyeliner the way he sits the food the food, admit it he only eats when he is stressed/sexually repressed which is when he is around Raito omg.)

5. Fiyero (?) - Ah I do not remember your name my dear, but I remember well that you were the brave prince from the ulu peasant land who had sex with the green witch while Malky the cat watched by the side. Most of all, I remember that you had blue diamonds running from your throat down to your chest. Which is, hawt.

6. Cat - Ah I do not remember your name either. But you = proud black kitty from Coraline who walked through the corridor with girl and talked. Which was an enlightening and inspiring moment for me. Because you talked. And that, really, is eerily wonderful and indescribably lovable (like much of Neil Gaiman) in a way I fail to explicate.

I have probably left out many, so I shall pick up from here some day after, because this is Fun. <3 And oh is it not strange that despite my initial obsessive streak starting from June, now that it has ended, I really can't quite be bothered to catch the last two episodes of Ouran?

So not emo.

There are many things to say and not enough words to say them. At least, I have no words to make them sound less emo. Ha. Years of blogging and of inserting random words here and there, deleting certain words, never ever mentioning certain words, never ever constructing certain sentences, and this is what I have been avoiding - appearing emo. Well I don't suppose it works too much because yes, most of the time I do sound very emo. ):

Shopping today! Which was really look at random dresses of questionable taste , say OH YIWEI/SHUHUI TRY ONE ON, staring at shoes (some pretty, some not, some supposedly pretty, mostly not), staring at soft toys (-_____-) and on some level, hoping for air-con. Came home and experienced about 3o minutes of acute depression because a) no dinner b) mummy went on a date c) I WALKED AND WALKED AND MY FEET HURT AND NO I AM NOT CLOSE TO ANYTHING I WANT. ))))): Well of course then I tried on many pairs of mummy's heels and realized yes I can walk in the respectably high ones (!!). Which was marginably cheering.

And oh Liying much much love to you and really, did you break daddy's antique vase and get grounded by your mum or what? You were remembered fondly today despite your no-show, especially when we saw a shirt that looked like your Strawberry & Cherry Shirt. <3 And oh we can go shopping next saturday instead! (No this is not a sign that I am a bimbo because a) I didn't even buy anything today b) I have exotic taste and today's shops have not catered to my needs c) BECAUSE (according to the Way of Mrs Cosmopolite <3) )

Like I hate pretentious people, pretentious movies, pretentious prose, pretentious movies, I hate pretentious songs. Which is why I am deliriously in love with Velvet Underground (yes 1960s rock band but so NOT old people music because rock music is timeless I say).

When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you

This is true, you know, despite the severe lack of positive comments from my side. And I love you all very very much. <33 Oh and Terry Pratchett as well.

Where's My Cow?

Far far away from safety and further away from Christmas but I am thinking in red and green lights and interesting concepts like loneliness (a state of mind darling, and so so necessary for emo-ness and passionate unrequited love and better days). Well. There can be telephone calls and small subtle promises made metaphorically under the table and petty waiting games and most of all the emo realization that yes, one will always be lonely. But, er, I don't seem to work too well when I try deliberately to capture something.

Most of all I feel inadequate after Thud! which made me stay up till 1am and cry and cry through various recitals of Where's My Cow which is so much love oneday I am going to buy the picture book and frame it up. Damn. I should get at least one copy of his book. -_-

Some people never change, and by some people I am referring to all of us. For now I am going to blink and put it to the back of my head because it is far too much trouble. And yes Karen Er I love the lunch table as well and you are so in love with me. Like, hawt lezbo lurve. It breaks my heart.

No. No. No more emo romantic questions like 'when the last leaf falls, where will you be?'. Bernard/Bernice (boy/girl/hermaphrodite and to some extent Gregory House, various Harry Potter characters and well, me), you must find the answers yourself. Or maybe realize that no, there is no last leaf. And no, there is no you. Because this is, you know, fiction.

These are not boobies: O.O

Right now I feel like this O.O.

So last night we wrote netball carnival cheer, and it was a lot of yo-hoing. And even after the email was sent out the yo hos were still resonating in my head, which was very disturbing. That is why I decided to think about doormats, which really I first thought of when Jasmine was singing in SI and I was trying not to listen and read Wicked but ended up listening anyway. OMG Jasmine is my muse yo ho ho.

Oh no school is going to start and I haven't gone to poetry recitals/meet the author sessions, seen a play, or watched an exciting musical performance at all. ><

EVERYONE (but my blog is ulu so really I mean Liying), lets go to an interesting arts event! Like, erm, biennale! Which is very exciting. What with people writing buddhist scripture on tofu and interesting exhibitions of paintings of homo people or something. Or we can go like watch an inspiring local play. Not Forbidden City, which looks pretentious and stupid and OMG I hate Kit Chan. Er. But there are not exactly any inspiring local plays at the moment unless you want to see a play called A Nation in Concert 2006 which sounds completely like propaganda. Oh ADRIAN PANG WHERE ARE YOUUUU?

Or we can watch Singapore Dreaming (support local film industry and I so completely <3 Colin Goh SHAME), sneak into Pretty Persuasion (there is an Arab hello it is so exciting), watch Tony Takitani (omg clothes angst angst angst), or watch The Beat That My Heart Skipped (which is french so subtitles <3 and it is such an incredibly pretty title!). OOH or we can watch The Host (which has a giant tentacled monster is supposed to be an insightful take on the Korean society erm). O.O What are odds Liying that you have never heard of all these? Omg go read your newspaper please.

Oh I feel restricted by sub-standard manga and ugly Anime. Let's do something fun and inspiring!!!111!!!oneoneone!!!!!!11

O.O

forks and plates - act II O.O

i. On the untimely death of Steve Irwin

So O.O I must be the only one who doesn't know him. But really, I don't see how anyone who dances around deadly crocodiles and performs stunts with his INFANT deserves any respect at all. Well la! Personal prejudice I suppose. It is how I despise Animal Planet but is marginally okay with National Geographic/David Attenborough (?).

And really, why a TURTLE as the symbol of commemoration?

ii. On real books

Gregory Maguire. Eerily intriguing as always. I hope this one has more heart than Wicked. You know, minus semi-pretentious philosophical rambles, happy ending please. <33

Oh, but it is quite a let down if you already known how the story is supposed to end isn't it? Gah. Fairy tale. -_-

iii. On gay manga, SHOUJO manga, general manga on a whole Yo ho ho. So far I have read 10 pages of Reverse, 20 pages of Absolute boyfriend, 1 page of bread manga, 1 volume of Ouran, and 12 volumes of Death Note. Yo ho ho.

In order: boring boring boring boring OMG WHY MUST YOU DIE? Have concluded a) no I am not shoujo fan omg it is really rubbish b) no I am not yaoi (manga tsk tsk) fan omg it is also rubbish c) no I am not shonen fan because I find the premise of FIGHTFIGHTFIGHT very boring. O.O d) oh yes I am DEATH NOTE FAN. -_-

This is withdrawal I suppose. Because I still still still miss L. Not only that but also the very unique and very intriguing premise. Not so much of omg evil man I conquer you with my magical sword (coughBLEACHcough) but more of a respectable attempt at something rather smart.

iv. Closure - personal reflection on why I despise Death Note after L dies. Because omg L died omg omg omg L L L. AND HE NEVER CAME BACK TO LIFE.

Excuse me. I suppose I cannot come up with an objective/intellectual/inspiring analysis after all.

Yo (ho)^39245

1. L is <3. I won't go into that because then I will be girly and incoherent and say things like omg omg his tongue his eyeliner his spoon and then rant along the lines of OMG WHY WHY WHY MUST YOU DIE?

2. Bishan Library is new and therefore has new books. That is, TWO ROLLS of Pratchett. And really, why doesn't super glue stick to its tube?

3. Gay manga is perverse. The Japanese are perverse.

4. Gay subtext in manga is <3. But I shouldn't go into that either because then I will repeat point 1.

5. Yo ho ho. The syllables of death. Oh MELLO. Oh L. WHY MUST YOU DIE. WHY NOT YOU ALL JUST BE GAY WITH ONE ANOTHER?

6. Interesting state of affairs. I never thought I would sink to Anime. But at least I have risen a fraction of an inch (here comes the imperceptible and inexplicable and immeasurable mental ruler) to manga. O.O

7. Apparently I have made it this far without any spelling errors. O mighty speller I am.

8. I am sure somewhere in this there must be a point. Or at least an agenda. Maybe I shall learn about it in Analyzing Talk. sdklfnsdklfn Give me back Saying What You Mean you oppressive administrators.

9. Funny. sdklfnsdklfn did not show up in spell check. Disappear neither. Dissappear neither. (Which is correct I shall never know) Appli neither. Condescinding neither.

Invaluable learning points of the day:
1. Dead people in manga don't come back to life.
2. I am obsessed with spell check.
3. Apparently spell check is malfunctioning.
a) Never trust machines
4. Apparently I like boys with eyeliner. ): And all the while I thought I liked old dudes.